The Show: DEAR ABBY

Interviewer: People love Jerry Herman's big hit shows like HELLO DOLLY, MAME, and LA CAGE AUX FOLLES. What are the main ingredients that go into making such hits?

Eric: An aging star. A staircase. An adoring chorus. Hummable melodies. Old-fashioned fun. Add to this a tireless optimism and you have a recipe for a Jerry Herman show.

Joanne: Jerry Herman shows are life-affirming. The stars of Jerry Herman shows are usually middle-aged women. If not, they are middle-aged men dressed up as women. In any case, they are life-affirming. They stay up all hours dancing and drinking martinis and smoking cigarettes to show their respect for life. They live in the moment. They are surrounded by chorus people who affirm life to the point of hysteria.

Eric: The bad guys are the party-poopers who disapprove of their lifestyles. (Suddenly turns to interviewer) I hope you don't disapprove of their lifestyle. That would mean you're not life-affirming. And that's bad.

Interviewer: (Alarmed) No! I love life! I affirm it! That's why I write about musicals! (This seems to reassure them all). So...now we come to Andrew Lloyd Webber.